Dreams of Stars
by Megakat Salvage
Summary: A look at the aftermath of a failed mission, and the dichotomy of lights in the night sky.


SWAT Kats is owned by Hanna-Barbera and is used out of fandom and without permission. Poems are belonging to the following authors:))

Astrophil and Stella 48 - Sir Philip Sidney

Falling Stars - Rainer Maria Rilke

Lost Star - Rabindranath Tagore

The Turbokat jolts to a stop and the canopy slides back, and Razor gets to wobbly feet. He throws a leg over the side and just sorta falls from the cockpit, staggering to the side and collapsing to crouch, broken, leaning against the landing gear. His head tilts back and he stares blankly upwards at the underside of the jet. He hears heavy footprints as T-Bone drags himself to the wall, hands pressed against it and hanging his head. His body shudders and he hits his knees, shoulders slump, and he is sobbing like a kitten. With every breath Razor's throat tightens, and wave of nausea threatens to overwhelm him. He leaps to his feet and rips off the g-suit and mask.

Clad only in his boxers and t-shirt he races up the ladder, escaping the sobs below. He rushes through to the outside, staggering into the yard and loses the contents of his stomach. Finally the heaving lessens and he lifts his head, wiping his mouth on the back of his arm. The sky was lit yet with the unnatural light he wanted to flee from. But he staggers to his feet, stumbling in its direction.

Climbing one of the stacks of crushed vehicles wasn't difficult. He did it all the time. But his throat is tight and his ribs feel like they're crushing, and about to burn straight out of his chest. He gets to the top, and he can see stars. Cold and bright and softly distinct despite the light in the harbor, yet changing with every blink, colors mutating and flickering with the tears filling his eyes and flowing down his cheeks.

He finally looks at it. Still burning, a bright and cheerful light existing out of horror, with twinkling satellites of boats and burning flotsam in the surrounding water. The red and blue emergency lights shimmer on the waves. Beauty in filth.

_Do you ever look at the stars, Razor? she'd asked, just yesterday. He could hear her voice in his mind, sweet and soft and loved. She smiled up at the black, sparkled sky, starting to speak, Soul's joy, bend not those morning stars from me, Where virtue is made strong by beauty's might,_

_He'd laughed and continued, Where love is chasteness, pain doth learn delight, And humbleness grows one with majesty._

She'd been delighted that he recognised it, her hand in his, while they stared at the stars together. His hand was cold and empty now, as he stared at the fire alone.

Daybreak finds him still sitting, crosslegged on top of a crushed Prius, hands in his lap and shivering slightly with the chill. The doomed Fear Ship still burned. The stars were fading.

There's a quiet step behind him and the creak of metal. "Did you know, some cultures think the stars are campfires of the dead, or the dead themselves, shining…."

Chance shifts uncomfortably and sits down next to Jake. "No, didn't know that," he murmurs. "Jake...I…"

He shakes his head, looking out at the harbor. "It's still burning."

"News says they don't expect to be able to put it out for days," Chance replies, quietly.

"Let's hope there's nothing nuclear in there," Jake replies, staring at the flames.

"Jake, buddy…" Chance sighs, shoulders slumped. "...Felina's alright," he murmurs finally. He was trying hard to keep the elation out of his voice. And the guilt. An odd combination.

Jake stiffens slightly and cocks his head towards Chance. "Oh. Yeah? Well. Well that's good. I'm happy for you. How'd you find out?"

"Heard her voice on the Enforcer bandwidth."

Jake nods a little. "Good. I'm glad. Sorry that sounded…I don't mean it that way."

"I know you don't…"

_I didn't know you were into poetry, she had said. Who's your favorite poet? Do you have one?_

_He'd shaken his head. Memorized that back in school. I just have a good memory, he had smiled at her, barely visible in the dark of the rooftop._

_Then the sky had been pierced with a string of lights, shooting off to the west. They watched the falling star fade away, brilliant greens and yellows and bursts of light lasting only a moment._

_She whispered,_

_Do you remember still the falling stars_

_that like swift horses through the heavens raced_

_and suddenly leaped across the hurdles_

_of our wishes-do you recall? And we_

_did make so many! For there were countless numbers_

_of stars: each time we looked above we were_

_astounded by the swiftness of their daring play,_

_while in our hearts we felt safe and secure_

_watching these brilliant bodies disintegrate,_

_knowing somehow we had survived their fall._

_He had shaken his head, he didn't know that one he said. And there was silence and a strain between them. But they held hands and talk turned to other things._

"Jake…. I want you to come inside in a few, alright? I'll uh… I'll get you something to eat. Just, come in, in a bit, alright buddy?" Chance said, watching him with worried expression.

"Did you know I bought a ring?" Jake asks suddenly.

Chance's breath catches and he stares a moment before replying. "No, buddy you… you didn't tell me that. I'm so sorry."

He shakes his head. "I was afraid to ask her. I was thinking maybe she'd say yes to Razor. But no to Jake. So I held on to it. I had it in my pocket last night," he adds. "I thought… I'd have time for her to get to know me more. The real me."

"We don't got to talk about-"

"I think I got to," he replies, a plaintive note in his voice.

"Sure, okay? You gonna come in with me? It's too cold to be sitting out here in your boxers, partner."

"Yeah. Just a few. I'll be there," he says, trying to sound reassuring.

Chance nods. "I'm gonna go put on some coffee." He stands, starting to climb back down the stack. "I'm gonna be here for you, alright?"

"Yeah… coffee. Gimme a few," he nods.

The creaking lessens as Chance reaches the ground and heads back towards the garage. Jake turns away from the burning ship and searches the sky silently. One last, persistent twinkler twinkles far above, fading by the moment. Soon it's gone, hidden for the day. And it sparks a memory, unbidden and unwelcome, and Jake speaks soft,

_When the creation was new and all the stars shone in their first _

_splendor, the gods held their assembly in the sky and sang _

_`Oh, the picture of perfection! the joy unalloyed!'_

_But one cried of a sudden _

_-`It seems that somewhere there is a break in the chain of light _

_and one of the stars has been lost.'_

_The golden string of their harp snapped, _

_their song stopped, and they cried in dismay _

_-`Yes, that lost star was the best, _

_she was the glory of all heavens!'_

A broken sob escapes his throat and through tears and a shaking voice, he whispers,

_From that day the search is unceasing for her, _

_and the cry goes on from one to the other _

_that in her the world has lost its one joy!_

"It's a dream. I'm dreaming about stars. I'm dreaming. She's not lost. She's not…."

The sky above is quiet and blue, and the starlight is gone.


End file.
